The New Adult Adventures of the Greek Muse Thalia

CASE FILE: EYRE

The only thing worse than being unemployed is working for your dad.

This should never have happened to me. I've got capability up to my ears! I had the best tutors in Olympus - first I had Chiron neighing at me for like twelve years, and then Daddy said that if Aristotle was good enough for Alexander, he was good enough for me. Even back then I thought I had spent enough time in school, but Daddy was like, twelve years studying under a guy with hooves does not a well-rounded education make. Whatever.

Anyway, I FINALLY get out from under my parents thumb, right? And it was beyond necessary because they fight so much that they ought to sell tickets. Blah blah cheating, blah blah encouraging cultists, blah blah please just let the Titans escape because I cannot take this another second.

I was so excited to finally be out on my own. An adult! I go wandering around Greece thinking that maybe I could be a philosopher, or a senator, or even scribing would be okay...

And then I find out that the unemployment rate for educated women in ancient Greece is like, ALL OF THE PERCENTS.

Eventually I ran out of mortal money and had to come home with my toga tucked between my legs, and don't think my sisters have let it go for a single second. "Oh, the family business not good enough for you? Don't want to inspire great works of art? Have to live on Mount Olympus and eat ambrosia? Thalia, have you gotten any messenger pigeons back from those resume tablets you sent out?"

I'm gonna make Puck turn them all into the asses they are.

What I'm saying is, it's not like I wanted to be a muse. I never claimed to be all that good at it. So what happened next is not even my fault.

I did my whole little [TRADE SECRET OF THE GODS] thing and next thing I know I'm in Thornfield on my very first assignment going, "Jane, honey, have you thought about this? Because gotta tell you, this guy is kind of sketch."

Jane was super cute in that way where she wasn't exactly beautiful, but she had urnfuls of personality. She could have used some fashion advice, but I kept that to myself.

"I believe you may exaggerate a little. Mr. Rochester is somewhat... unique, it is true, but I do not believe he means any harm. It is simply his way."

"Girl, his house has caught fire like eight times in three months, and he flirts by dressing up like an old gypsy woman. That is not the behavior of a normal person. He's real hot tho."

"You see?!"

Erato and Melpomene have been harping on me ever since I got back, but to Hades with them. I think Jane's gonna be fine.