The New Adult Adventures of a Greek Muse, Episode 2

CASE FILE: DA VINCI CODE

I know I'm supposed to be an adult and all, but my Dad is the cheapest god in the universe.

Still can't find a job that isn't working for my parents, so I went out on another assignment as a muse. This muse thing is really not all it's cracked up to be - look, people should never paint in blood, and if they do, I should never have to see it. Especially not old people. Naked old people.

Why is this my life?

I swooped in on the scene and honestly, I was mad as hell. This woman Sophie, she's a policewoman and a cryptographer - people sure seem to hire her! But there's this mystery in full swing (a gross mystery with blood and old people, but still) and she's just following around after this guy who's droning on about codes and people getting married. He was quite the lecturer. If you can get a job lecturing, he would have it.

"Why don't you start cryptographing things?" I asked Sophie. I would have nudged her shoulder but I was worried about bloodstains. They do not come out of white togas, let me tell you. And I have to wash all my own clothes, which is very annoying when you have to wash them in the river. Ghosts are always popping out of the Styx and whining about their deadness level, which is definitely not my problem.

"I'd love to," Sophie said with a shrug. "But I'm only allotted one cool action for the entire plot, so I've gotta help this guy escape. Then I'll get rescued a bunch."

Reader, I facepalmed. "You're a policewoman! Go police things!"

"Sorry, what was that?"she said, her steely gazed tempered by an everything else as soft and sweet as fluffy kittens. "I was listening to this guy decipher all the codes. Doing that while looking feminine but not wearing makeup is taking up all my attention."

At that point I was very annoyed so I stole her cell phone and left. What?! It's department-issued for her. She'll get another.

I, on the other hand, am stuck with a cell phone bill that my Dad won't pay, and I don't have any future French dollars. Life sucks.

The New Adult Adventures of the Greek Muse Thalia

CASE FILE: EYRE

The only thing worse than being unemployed is working for your dad.

This should never have happened to me. I've got capability up to my ears! I had the best tutors in Olympus - first I had Chiron neighing at me for like twelve years, and then Daddy said that if Aristotle was good enough for Alexander, he was good enough for me. Even back then I thought I had spent enough time in school, but Daddy was like, twelve years studying under a guy with hooves does not a well-rounded education make. Whatever.

Anyway, I FINALLY get out from under my parents thumb, right? And it was beyond necessary because they fight so much that they ought to sell tickets. Blah blah cheating, blah blah encouraging cultists, blah blah please just let the Titans escape because I cannot take this another second.

I was so excited to finally be out on my own. An adult! I go wandering around Greece thinking that maybe I could be a philosopher, or a senator, or even scribing would be okay...

And then I find out that the unemployment rate for educated women in ancient Greece is like, ALL OF THE PERCENTS.

Eventually I ran out of mortal money and had to come home with my toga tucked between my legs, and don't think my sisters have let it go for a single second. "Oh, the family business not good enough for you? Don't want to inspire great works of art? Have to live on Mount Olympus and eat ambrosia? Thalia, have you gotten any messenger pigeons back from those resume tablets you sent out?"

I'm gonna make Puck turn them all into the asses they are.

What I'm saying is, it's not like I wanted to be a muse. I never claimed to be all that good at it. So what happened next is not even my fault.

I did my whole little [TRADE SECRET OF THE GODS] thing and next thing I know I'm in Thornfield on my very first assignment going, "Jane, honey, have you thought about this? Because gotta tell you, this guy is kind of sketch."

Jane was super cute in that way where she wasn't exactly beautiful, but she had urnfuls of personality. She could have used some fashion advice, but I kept that to myself.

"I believe you may exaggerate a little. Mr. Rochester is somewhat... unique, it is true, but I do not believe he means any harm. It is simply his way."

"Girl, his house has caught fire like eight times in three months, and he flirts by dressing up like an old gypsy woman. That is not the behavior of a normal person. He's real hot tho."

"You see?!"

Erato and Melpomene have been harping on me ever since I got back, but to Hades with them. I think Jane's gonna be fine.

What's your type?

I was watching a video the other day that mentioned something I've thought about before - the fact that a lot of us date the same person over and over with slight variations.

Most people will immediately deny this. I used to be one of these people, actually. All of the men I've dated have been in very different fields, they've looked wildly different, and they've all been fairly normal... But then I realized, no, wait. I'm not a special snowflake after all. I've dated The Nice Guy over and over again, with varying shades of authenticity.

Why do we do this? Are we attracted to a certain type of person on a subconscious level, drawn to the kind of personality that can come the closest to fitting together with our jagged-edged puzzle pieces? Or do we simply never recover from our first bad breakup, and spend the rest of our dating lives trying to fix our mistakes? Maybe some of us are just stubborn.

I'm not sure, but I do know how this phenomenon tends to be represented in fiction. Over and over again I see stories about women who date the same "wrong for them" guys and then, when they meet The One, have to broaden their horizons and get over their "type". While this is always fun, I'd like to see a story or two about a woman who meets a man that transcends his type to become perfect to her, in spite of her worries about repeating her mistakes. Something to keep in mind for the future!

What about you? Do you date the same person over and over again, or do you think it's all ridiculous typecasting?

And here's the video, if you were curious. It's definitely worth a look.